As we age, men slowly gain an understanding of what and what not to wear but some never get it. As someone who’s figured out some of the dos and don’ts in life I thought I’d pass on some info which is self-evident to most… but not obvious to all.
Wearing things on your belt does not make you look like Batman
Trust me here, there are very few situations where you can safely wear something on your belt and not look like a dork. Things you shouldn’t hook to your belt include compact cameras, leather man pocket tools, pagers and cell phones. I know, wearing a cell phone on your belt makes you kind of feel like you have a holster… but honestly, it doesn’t make you look like Han Solo.
Speaking of cell phones, here’s another one:
Unless you’re talking on the phone, take off your Bluetooth headset
If your cell phone holster makes you feel like a cowboy then your Bluetooth headset must make you feel downright special forces. Sorry, it doesn’t look like a military-issue comm set and people aren’t giving you extra looks because you’re so ultra-manly cool. Here’s a quick tip: if you’re eating dinner in a restaurant, enjoying a meal with your date… take off the ear-tumor. First, you shouldn’t answer a call during a romantic meal out. Second, you’re not so important that you should answer a call during a romantic meal out. But it probably doesn’t matter… if you’re wearing an ear piece during meals you won’t be eating with company long… she’s already planning on breaking up with you Sgt. Rock.
And while you’re taking off that silly earpiece…
Not even movie stars look cool wearing sunglasses inside
I suppose there’s one exception, Jack Nicholson… but that’s all I’ll give you. Everyone else who wears sunglasses inside is just kidding themselves. This goes double if the sun isn’t even up. Stevie Wonder, you’re on notice, you poseur.
In my next men’s fashion advice column please look for additional gems such as:
- If you’re over 40, make sure your shirt has sleeves
- Only .1% of the population can get away with wearing bike shorts (even fewer, a Speedo)
But wait… there’s more
My new teen fashion blog will debut shortly. Here’s a teaser:
- Leave your PJs at home, why advertise you’re lazy and your parents have no control over you?
- No, your “Spoiled Princess” T-shirt isn’t cute, but until the FDA legislates warning labels for brats, keep wearing it.