… porn stars don’t have “private parts”.
And without private parts, can one really be a porn star?
Either way, Ron Jeremy creeps me out.
This morning I rushed to catch the elevator up from the parking garage and as I stepped in I said “thanks” to the woman holding the door for me.
Turns out, however, that I reflexively said “thanks” only to realize, after I got in the elevator, that her hand was nowhere near the open button. She had seen me coming and made no effort to hold the lift for me.
How sad is it that the other person got caught doing a dick move and I feel bad for coming across as passive aggressive?
Say you make consumer broadband routers and you’re looking for a new revenue stream. Your customers expect you to spend money upgrading the firmware for their routers, but you’ve already taken money from them… they’ve paid already.
Don’t despair, there definitely are ways to squeeze more money out of your unsuspecting clients. For example: in your next router firmware update add a new feature that directs all mis-typed URLs to your own search page. Bingo! You get a brand new pipeline of money from all those paid search results and your customers will never know what hit them. Heck, they’ll probably think it’s spyware on their computers and spend a bunch of time trying to track down the bad bits and never even blame you!
One final tip: don’t name your search site “dlinksearch.com”, it will shorten the time it takes for your customers to figure out that it’s D-Link who is being a dick and stealing traffic. If you make it too easy for them to figure out who’s stealing the traffic, but hard for them to figure out how to turn them off they’ll get pissed off and make blog posts telling their friends not to buy your hardware (yes, I’m looking at you, D-Link).
But, hey, no big deal, right? They’ve already paid money for your router. Once you’ve made the sale the existing customers are just a drag on your revenue. You can make it up in volume.