{"id":489,"date":"2004-01-12T23:52:35","date_gmt":"2004-01-12T23:52:35","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.little.org\/blog\/2004\/01\/12\/WowYouReallyDoThinkHighlyOfYourself.aspx"},"modified":"2004-01-12T23:52:35","modified_gmt":"2004-01-12T23:52:35","slug":"wow-you-really-do-think-highly-of-yourself","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.little.org\/blog\/2004\/01\/12\/wow-you-really-do-think-highly-of-yourself\/","title":{"rendered":"Wow, you really do think highly of yourself."},"content":{"rendered":"<p><P>Blogging seems to be seeping deeper and deeper into our culture.&nbsp; <a href=\"http:\/\/web.archive.org\/web\/20100607000735\/http:\/\/www.redyawning.com:80\/user.aspx?userid=1\">Aditya<\/a> posted a link to <A href=\"http:\/\/www.nytimes.com\/2004\/01\/11\/magazine\/11BLOG.html?pagewanted=1&amp;ei=5007&amp;en=f832eb26156e750a&amp;ex=1389157200&amp;partner=USERLAND\">a great NYT article on blogging<\/A>.<\/P><br \/>\n<P>Here&#8217;s the quote that got me thinking:<\/P><br \/>\n<BLOCKQUOTE dir=ltr style=\"MARGIN-RIGHT: 0px\"><br \/>\n<P>And while there are exceptions, many journal writers exhibit a surprising lack of curiosity about the journals of true strangers. They&#8217;re too busy writing posts to browse.<\/P><\/BLOCKQUOTE><br \/>\n<P>Blogging is really very self-serving (except in my case, because I&#8217;m special).&nbsp; People have a strong need for validation, they want to know they are liked, respected, feared, or whatever resonates best with their psyche.&nbsp; When you think of blogging as simply people looking for acceptance, is there any surprise that high school kids gravitate to it?<\/P><br \/>\n<P>No, I don&#8217;t think it&#8217;s wrong to seek validation, I think it&#8217;s natural.&nbsp; I wish more people recognized the want for validation as a basic human need.&nbsp; You want to experiment with validation?&nbsp; <\/P><br \/>\n<P>Fun with validation:<BR>People will be giving you information all day long, it&#8217;s unavoidable.&nbsp; Next time you get information from someone you have two choices.&nbsp; You can say either:<BR>a.&nbsp; &#8220;Yeah, I knew that&#8221;<BR>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; or <BR>b.&nbsp; &#8220;Cool!&#8221;<\/P><br \/>\n<P>Try it out, watch their face.&nbsp; So, what did you learn?&nbsp; <\/P><br \/>\n<P>Choosing option &#8220;a&#8221; is really an attempt to usurp validation from the other person.&nbsp; Sure, you&#8217;ve made it clear you already have the information, have you made them respect you?&nbsp; If you short circuit their request for validation they are not going to be happy, in fact, they will be so distracted by you being a &#8220;know-it-all&#8221; that you will not get any benefit.&nbsp; With choice &#8220;a&#8221; you both loose.<\/P><br \/>\n<P>Choose &#8220;b&#8221; and you you&#8217;ll get a much better response from the other person.&nbsp; Will they think less of you?&nbsp; Unlikely.&nbsp; Will you feel worse?&nbsp; You already know you knew the information, who cares if the other person knows you knew?&nbsp; Get over yourself.<\/P><br \/>\n<P>Validation isn&#8217;t limited to sharing knowledge, it covers every aspect of the way people communicate.&nbsp; When someone shows you their new camera they really don&#8217;t want to know it was the wrong purchase, they want to hear &#8220;cool!&#8221;&nbsp; There&#8217;s no point in telling them they paid too much, who wins?<\/P><br \/>\n<P>Okay Reeves, this sounds very touchy-feely&#8230; what&#8217;s in it for me?&nbsp; Validation, of course.&nbsp; If people feel validated when they talk to you, they will like you.&nbsp; People who like you will do stuff for you.&nbsp; Pretty simple, huh?&nbsp; <\/P><br \/>\n<P>Now go tell all your friends to read my blog because I&#8217;m really really cool and I know stuff.<\/P><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Blogging seems to be seeping deeper and deeper into our culture.&nbsp; Aditya posted a link to a great NYT article on blogging. Here&#8217;s the quote that got me thinking: And while there are exceptions, many journal writers exhibit a surprising lack of curiosity about the journals of true strangers. They&#8217;re too busy writing posts to [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[25,5,6],"tags":[51,95,96],"class_list":["post-489","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-techblog","category-idlelanguage","category-idlelife","tag-blogging","tag-idlelanguage","tag-idlelife"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.little.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/489","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.little.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.little.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.little.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.little.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=489"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.little.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/489\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.little.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=489"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.little.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=489"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.little.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=489"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}