TRUISIMS

• If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
• Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now
• A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
• Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks
• Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
• For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
• Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.
• No one is listening until you make a mistake.
• The severity of the itch is proportional to the reach.
• You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
• A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
• To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
• The colder the X-ray table, the more of your body is required on it.
• The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.
• Money can't buy love. But it CAN rent a very close imitation.
• If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.
• A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.