Children's Books You Will Probably Never See:

• You Were an Accident
• Strangers Have the Best Candy
• Some Kittens Can Fly
• Getting More Chocolate on Your Face
• Kathy Was So Bad Her Mom Stopped Loving Her
• All Dogs Go to Hell
• The Kids' Guide to Hitchhiking
• When Mommy and Daddy Don't Know the Answer They Say God Did It
• Garfield Gets Feline Leukemia
• What Is That Dog Doing to That Other Dog?
• Why Can't Mr. Fork and Ms. Electrical Outlet Be Friends?
• Daddy Drinks Because You Cry
• Mister Policeman Eats His Service Revolver
• You Are Different and That's Bad
• Pop Goes The Hamster....And Other Great Microwave Games
• The Hardy Boys, the Barbie Twins, and the Vice Squad
• The Tickling Babysitter
• Babar Meets the Taxidermist
• Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence
• The Boy Who Died from Eating All His Vegetables
• Start a Real-Estate Empire With the Change From Your Mommy's Purse
• The Pop-up Book of Human Anatomy
• Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will
• The Care Bears Maul Some Campers and are Shot Dead
• Games to Play When Daddy Leaves the Gun Locker Open
• How to Avoid Homework and Other Annoying Chores
• How to Become The Dominant Military Power In Your Elementary School
• Controlling the Playground: Respect through Fear
• Barney: The Prison Years
• The Little Sissy Who Snitched