Bumper Stickers from Instant Attitudes

• Support Capitol Punishment, Flog a Politician Today
• Legalizing Concealed Weapons would be just fine if stupidity was outlawed
• We're the largest street gang in America. We're the POLICE
• [Windows logo] ...and this is your computer on drugs. Any questions?
• Annoy a politician today - THINK
• Anime-niac
• There is no freedom OF religion without freedom FROM religion
• The more I learn about terrorism, the better I understand the phone company
• C code. C code run. Run, code, run! (please?)
• The Klingon Prime Directive: [tiHoH in Klingon font] Kill Them!
• Bad cop. Bad BAD cop. NO DONUT.
• If you drink, don't park. Accidents cause people!
• Support the 28th Amendment: Convicted felons shall not have the right to demand or expect better treatment or conditions than the members of the public at large.
• CAUTION! Trigger-happy Klingon on Tactical!
• My job drives me to drink. If it wasn't for that, I'D QUIT!
• If you can read this, I can hit my brakes and sue you!
• Information Superhighway Official Roadkill
• Grad School - It's not just a job, it's an indenture!
• Flush Rush
• If ignorance is Bliss, Washington must be Paradise!
• I know that you have a thing for me, but why is it so small and deformed?
• Do Not Underestimate the Power of the Chocolate Side of the Force!
• Save the whales! Trade them for valuable prizes!
• Nice front bumper you've got there. Shame if something happened to it....
• "Gun Control" isn't about guns. It's about control.
• A cat, by any other name, is still a sneaky little furball that barfs on the furniture
• Clinton can't feel my pain, Clinton IS my pain!
• Another Deadline, Another Miracle
• Militant Agnostic. I don't know, and you don't either!
• Blessed be the censors, for they shall truly inhibit the earth
• Censorship? We don't have any censorship. If we did, I couldn't say XXXX or XXXX..
• XXXXXX the censors!
• He who hesitates IS LUNCH!
• Creature of the Night
• The truth is out there. Trust no one. Deny everything.
• Death Before Dishonor Nothing Before Coffee
• Friends don't let friends boot OS/2ú.
• [Windows logo] I Don't Do Windows
• Vegetables aren't food. Vegetables are what food eats.
• Balance the Budget. Declare Politicians as Game and sell Hunting Stamps.
• Agnus Deae (Lamb of Goddess)
• Crus de agnus Deae con quilon menthae (Leg of lamb of Goddess with mint jelly)
• Crus de agnus Dei con quilon menthae (Leg of lamb of God with mint jelly)
• My kid and your taxes go to Starfleet Academy
• We are IBM! Windows is IRRELEVANT! You will be ASSIMILATED!
• RTFM
• Nuke an unborn gay baby whale for Jesus
• Campus Crusade for Cthulhu: It Found Me!
• The Cat Philosophy of Life: If you can't Eat it or Shred it, then Sleep on it.
• Welcome to Middle Earth. NOW GO HOME.
• Will litigate for food
• The way to a man's heart is between the fourth and fifth ribs
• Klingon Empire Survey Vehicle
• Dyselxics have more fnu
• So many men, so little reason to sleep with any of them
• Happiness is the planet Earth in your rear-view mirror
• Be nice to me, or I just might develop psychokinetic powers and destroy Tokyo!
• When Cthulhu Calls, he calls 1-800-Collect
• How long do I have to be a grad student before I can petition for tenure?
• The meek shall inherit the Earth. The rest of us are going to the stars!
• Dead men tell no tales... unless you're in forensics
• Next year, why not vacation in the millions of worlds of a used book store?
• Carpe DM: Seize the Dungeon Master
• Happy Happy Kill Kill
• I didn't do it. You can't prove it. Nobody saw me. The sheep are lying!
• I have seen the truth, and it makes no sense!
• The Few. The Browed. The Klingon Marines.
• To err is human. To forgive is against company policy.
• 1.799 x 1012 furlongs per fortnight. 'Tis a good Idea, and it doth be the Law.
• If men could get pregnant, abortion would be a sacrament!
• Always forgive your enemies. Nothing annoys them more!
• I don't need a new religion. I haven't used up the Old one.
• Never trust a smiling GM!
• Why get real? Plastic is cheaper, It doesn't rot, It comes in prettier colors, and it's much easier to clean!
• Will build thermonuclear devices for food
• Do Not Meddle in the Affairs of Dragons, for You are Crunchy and Good with Ketchup.
• Those who can, Teach. Those who cannot teach ARE RUNNING THE SCHOOLS!
• Weird Enough for Government Work
• If I could get a firm grip on reality, I'd choke it!
• Unicorns aren't mythical... virgins are!
• I love cats. Want to trade recipes?
• Cats make more sense than men
• Cats make more sense than women
• Men exist because cats won't mow the lawn. Women exist because sheep can't cook. Neither of these things explain children.
• Abolish mornings!
• Jesus, protect me from your followers!
• Jesus is coming! LOOK BUSY
• She said "Harder!" I did that. She said "Faster!" I did that. She said "Deeper!" I philosophized.
• Am I supposed to be impressed?
• I love my country. It's my government I fear.
• Why should we trust the government with automatic weapons?
• My wife keeps complaining that I never listen to her... or something like that.
• Where there's a whip, there's a way
• My cat dislikes the term "pet." It prefers "friend and confidante."
• If guns cause crime, matches cause arson!
• Caution Vampire in trunk!
• If it isn't fattening, it isn't food!
• [pentagram] Born Again Pagan
• Just say NO! To sex with pro-lifers
• The real problem with Baptists is that they never quite seem to hold them under long enough.
• Jesus Saves by shopping wisely and using double coupons
• I am suffering from a Sexually Transmitted Disease: Children!
• I want to be Barbie-- The bitch has everything!
• Cats don't want to own people. They prefer to lease with an option.
• Drive defensively. Buy a tank.
• Don't steal. The government hates competition.
• Fundamentalism means never having to open your mind
• Computers are vehicles for the mind. They drive you crazy!
• Stop the violins. Visualize whirled peas.
• We are Microsoft! Resistance is Futile! You will be assimilated!
• Visualize Whirled Peas
• My kid swindled your honor student at the Ferengi College of Business, where students learn to profit from more than just mistakes.
• My other vehicle was assimilated by the Borg!
• [Alien face] Nice little planet you've got here. Shame if something happened to it.
• Cats keep their claws sharp because they know that just a purr may not be enough
• Anything not nailed down is a cat toy!
• Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity
• A chill in the air, a cat on the lap, a mug of chocolate, and a good book. Ah, Paradise!
• I think, therefore I am dangerous
• Usenet Cheaper than drugs, just as addictive, but you have to know how to read!
• It's worse than you think and they ARE out to get you!
• Trust me I'm a lawyer [picture of shark ]
• You found God? If nobody claims him in 30 days, he's yours!
• You're pro-life? That's fine. Now get one and stay out of mine!
• [bear with rifle] Support the right to keep and arm bears!
• Who needs drugs? I go broke buying books!
• Weird Load
• [pentagram] Give me that REAL Old-Time Religion!
• Book lovers never go to bed alone!
• MY MIND IS NOT FOR SALE OR RENT TO ANY GOD OR GOVERNMENT
• Grow your own dope! Plant a politician!
• Pro-Free Speech. Pro-Gun. Pro-Choice. PRO-FREEDOM!
• Sure you can trust the Government! Just ask an Indian!
• Is it too late to get the Russians to nuke Washington?
• Never shoot to kill. Always shoot to live.
• [fish with legs] You keep believing... we'll keep evolving!
• Procrastinate Later
• My ship finally came in, but it was the Kobayashi Maru!
• Alcohol and calculus don't mix NEVER DRINK AND DERIVE!
• An angry Dragon may eat you, but an angry Woman is truly dangerous
• My ex gave me a reason to live -- I want Revenge!
• Subvert the dominant paradigm!
• I'm not nearly as think as you confused I am!
• Don't hate yourself in the morning -- Sleep till noon!
• Summa cum laude graduate, Darth Vader School of Personnel Management
• Practice Safe Housing - Use Condos
• Some mornings I just don't feel like slaying dragons
• Closet Extrovert
• Babylon Express - When you absolutely positively don't want anyone to know where it went or how it got there.
• I found Jesus. He was in my trunk when I got back from Tijuana.
• Real Men love Jesus. He looks fantastic in a miniskirt
• VOTE: REPUBLICAN, it's easier than THINKING; DEMOCRAT, it's easier than WORKING; Libertarian, it's cheaper than TAXES
• If we are what we eat, I'm fast, cheap and easy!
• I don't deserve self esteem
• It's a control freak thing. I won't let you understand!
• System analysis is the process of finding exactly the right wrench to pound in the required screw
• Proudly marching to the beat of a different kettle of fish
• I'm doing my part to piss off the Religious Reich
• The best things in life aren't things
• Ignore your rights and they'll go away
• The "New Right" is fundamentally wrong
• Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain
• First they burn books then they burn people
• Oh, no! I turned out just like my mother!
• Question Authority before it Questions You!
• A Woman's Place is in the House... and Senate!
• Computers aren't intelligent. They just think they are.
• Civil Disobedience - It's not just for revolutionaries anymore!
• C:\COFFEE.EXE NOT FOUND <a>bort, <r>etry, <b>rew another pot?
• Vote Conservative! There's no mistake like an old mistake!
• Been there. Done that. Went back for more.
• Wu's Law: Never, EVER say "Here, kitty, kitty" to a Kzin
• Computers cut my work in half... and the boss expects me to put it all back together!
• I feel like a new man. Do you have one I could use?
• Murphy was an optimixt!
• Red meat isn't bad for you. Fuzzy, green meat is bad for you!
• I saw Elvis making crop circles
• Where are we going? Why am I in this handbasket?
• Free Speech keeps Rush on the air. Free Thought keeps me from believing him.
• Power Corrupts - Isn't that what it's for?
• Real Psychics don't have 1-900 numbers. They call you... collect!
• Downsizing is good, right? Then let's fire Uncle Sam!
• No thanks. I gave at the orifice.
• Hang Up and Drive!
• I did not escape, I have a day pass!
• Untie Dexlysics!
• Some days, it's just not worth gnawing through the straps
• The problem with religious texts is that the answers aren't in the back, either.
• The fundies keep telling me I'm going to Hell and they're going to Heaven. If they aren't there, it won't be Hell, so I guess we're all going to the same place!
• There's a sucker reborn every minute - PT Robertson
• Listen to Limbaugh? No thanks, my parents weren't related
• Forget Love - I want to fall in Chocolate
• Do Not Meddle in the Affairs of Witches... [picture of frog]
• B.S. (Phys): Why does it work? B.S. (Engr): How does it work? B.A. (Acctg): How much will it cost? B.A. (Arts) You want fries with that?
• Go Fascinate Someone Else
• He's YOUR God. They're YOUR rules. YOU burn in Hell!
• Animal testing is futile! The animals always get nervous and give the wrong answers
• Four space stations were lost and they still funded a fifth? Only on TV - Babylon 5
• B-5/DS9 - Boldly going in circles where no TV shows have gone before (this week)
• Computer Literacy? You mean my computer is supposed to read?
• The computer revolution is over - the computers won!
• I inhaled and I vote
• Help! I've tripped and I can't come down!
• I was abducted by space aliens and I vote!
• This vehicle leased to: American Association for the Abolition of Acronym Abuse Regional Group Headquarters Staff Transport Office Pool (AAAAARGH/STOP)
• Will Write Code for Food
• I got out of bed for this?
• EARTH FIRST! We can stripmine the other planets later!
• This isn't a life it's a forced March!
• They're Lying
• Ignore the propaganda. Focus on what you see.
• Testing drugs on computers just makes them safe for computers.
• Life would be so much easier if we just had the source code
• Don't blame me- I'm just visiting this planet!
• Who are you to question why your god doesn't want me to believe in him?
• KPLA All Klingon, all the time
• I am perfectly sane. The little voices in my head told me so!
• If all the world's a stage, I want better lighting!
• If you get any closer, you'd better have a condom
• No job too easy - No fee too large - Dragons Rescued - Virgins Slain
• You earthlings have such strange eating habits
• Put politicians in their place - Landfills!
• I'm disturbed. I'm depressed. I'm inadequate. I've got it all!
• Visualize Whirled Pizza
• What we really need is a moment of SCIENCE in the public schools!
• Hukt on fonix reely wurkt for mee!
• Some push the envelope, some just lick it, and some can't find the flap!
• FEED THE HOMELESS TO THE HUNGRY
• [Dragon] Some things must be believed before they can be seen
• [Pegacorn] Some things must be believed before they can be seen
• [UFO] Some things must be believed before they can be seen
• Stop repeat offenders Don't re-elect them!
• Fundamentalism stops a thinking mind
• Remember when conservatives protected privacy and freedom?
• Bobbitt's Tavern. Have a few too many and we'll cut you off!
• A world without war; a dream to some, a nightmare to the arms manufacturers.
• Victims and suspects and clues, oh my!
• Mystery readers are never clueless (after chapter one)
• A tisket, a tasket, a victim in a casket
• The four essential elements: Means, Motive, Opportunity and Chocolate!
• "When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth." --S. Holmes
• Mankind is the result of millions of years of evolution desidned to produce a better Cat Servant
• Cats humor us because they know that their ancestors ate ours.
• There's no Police like Holmes
• My husband said he'd leave me if I didn't stop reading mysteries all the time... Why didn't I start sooner?
• Microsoft: If you can't beat them, buy them. Apple: If you can't beat them, sue them. IBM: If you can't beat them, ignore them.
• Dogs think men are gods. Cats are not so easily deluded.
• It's hard to Soar with Dragons when you Work with Gargoyles
• Bean me up, Scotty! They make lousy coffee down here
• Some days, the most interesting thing on the TV is a sleeping cat!
• Yes, I've heard of "decaf." What's your point?
• Everybody needs something to believe. I believe I'll have another cup of coffee!
• Just bring me the coffee and nobody will get hurt
• Are you sure this isn't just a live-action roleplaying game?
• "Get a life?" I'm a gamer! I have lots of lives!
• If space is a vacuum, who changes the bag?
• A chill in the air, a cat on the lap, a mug of java and a good book. Ah paradise!
• We will never have great leaders as long as we mistake education for intelligence, ambition for ability, and lack of transgression for integrity!
• Different drummer? I'm my own band!
• Forget world peace, visualize using your &+%?*$! Turn signals!
• If a man's best friend is his dog, don't give him your phone number!
• Federal Espresso - When you absolutely, positively have to have something that will get you going, no matter what you were doing overnight!
• Only lawyers get to be judges, and that's the (F)LAW!
• Inside every small problem is a big one trying to get government funding
• Friends let you hide at their place. Real friends let you hide bodies.
• Everything I really needed to know, I learned in sniper school
• Gun Exchange programs would work great if they gave you a gun when you handed in a criminal!
• Guns didn't make America unsafe, Courts and Congress did!
• Don't call us "gun nuts"-- with a government like ours, we'd be nuts not to have guns!
• If you try to get my gun, don't expect to get my trust
• REAL PROGRAMMERS DON'T DOCUMENT If it was hard to write, it should be impossible to understand!
• Always remeber: Pillage first, THEN burn!
• My life may be weird, but at least it's not boring!
• User Surly
• I am a mallaholic. Please do not give me directions to the nearest shopping mall!
• I like noise. I need noise. When it's too quiet, I can hear my brain cells dying.
• Always proofread. You might have something out.
• It never fails! You start having fun, and they send in the lawyers.
• If you hold a Unix shell up to your ear, can you hear the C?
• The First Amendment grants Freedom of Speech THE SECOND GUARANTEES IT!
• You don't need a pedigree to be a best friend
• ZenCrafters Total enlightenment in about an hour!
• Amateur Rocket Scientist My other vehicle is in orbit
• Witch Wagon - Tailgaters will be Toad
• Do autoparanoid schizophrenic agnostic dyslexic insomniacs lie awake at night wondering if they might be the dog theat's out to get them?
• Evolution created anchovies - Man's ignorance put them on pizza!
• Had a life. Traded it for a faster modem
• Mean People Suck
• I owe it all to my boss - Ulcers, nausea, paranoia...
• Smoking Cures Ham
• Most men would respect a woman's mind more if it bounced gently as she walked.
• Sanity is a state of mind ...but the taxes are so high, I had to move away.
• Wizard Wagon - Tailgaters will be toad
• Objects in mirror may have flunked driver ed
• Nine out of ten men who have tried camels prefer women.
• In space, your cat can't hear you open the can
• Miskatonic Summer Games - Fastest food in Arkham
• A closed mind doean't need drugs-- It's already wasted
• Getting a free kitten proves that you don't need money to get love
• Life's a beach - and we're just surfing time
• Reunite Gondwanaland
• Why do Scotsmen wear kilts? It's easier to run with your kilt up than your pants down!
• You! Out of the gene pool!
• REAL SCOTSMEN WEAR KILTS because sheep can hear a zipper at 500 yards!
• GO AHEAD, HONK If I can hear you, you're in range
• Driver carries no more than $20 worth of ammunition
• DO NOT DISTURB Occupant is disturbed enough already
• BEEN THERE, DONE THAT - Can't remember why...
• Cats are children that you don't have to send to college
• I'm a Woman, not a Womb!
• Smoking is like sex-- It should always be between consenting adults in private
• Omnipotent Omniscient Omnibenevolent - Pick two.
• If we can put a man on the moon, why not all of them?
• To a Cat, People are just Furniture that does Tricks