The True Reason for Halloween

It’s not to relive our childhood fantasies by playing dress up…

It’s to relive our childhood sugar rushes by eating Monster Cereal.

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Every year, I do just that very thing.

And every year, I’m reminded of just how awful this seasonal treat really is. For some reason (rightly or wrongly) I remember the monster cereals as being a little more powdery (think: colored Lucky Charms) and a lot better tasting. Instead, the cereal is shiny, glazed and lacking in all but the slightest hint of artificial fruit flavoring. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t expect it to taste like real blueberries. In fact, it’s quite the opposite, I really expect it to taste like fake blueberries, much the same way I expect Hawaiian Punch should never, ever, under any circumstances, start tasting like punch. The flavor, however, can be best described as “Crunchy Sugar”.

Admittedly, I do like sugar, and if I keep the mindset that I’m just eating generic, high fructose, artificially colored children’s cereal (you know, the kind with added vitamins & minerals / guilty parent panacea)… if I pretend and squint, it ain’t half bad.

Perhaps I’ll buy it again next year.

Almost certainly, I’ll be disappointed. Again.