Hey computer industry writers… you want to get geeks interested in your tech article?  Incorporate espionage into your gadget review.   Throwing in a reference to 007 or some other, handsome, non-geek-like, gadget-swinging spy is like rubbing bacon grease on dog treats, it’s really not necessary… but it really gets the dog excited and is a whole lot of fun to watch (there’s nothing more entertaining than nerd drool).

The latest thing that caught my eye was in an eWEEK Labs write up by Cameron Sturdevant of a new Mobile Edge bag:

Bluetooth Bunker Protects Devices
Taking a page from a spy novel, Mobile Edge offers stylish computer carriers with a Wireless Security Shield Pocket.

Gasp!  Spy novels?!?  Tell me more.

Taking a page from a spy novel, Mobile Edge offers stylish computer carriers with a Wireless Security Shield Pocket—made of radio-blocking material that forms a physical firewall between mobile devices and hackers or virus-infected Bluetooth devices—big enough to accommodate a PDA and a small cell phone handset.

My testing at eWEEK Labs proved that no radio signals penetrated the pocket, thus protecting my Bluetooth-enabled devices from possible viral infection just by being in close proximity to a compromised wireless device.

Now, I know what you’re thinking: “My cell phone is small and portable… if I’m going out for the evening I don’t want to carry a briefcase just to protect my valuable cell phone.  There’s no way I’m going to show up on the red carpet at the Oscars carrying a huge bag!”

No worries.  Aditya and I are starting a new business based around our new, hacker-proof shield for your cell phone.  Our “Bluetooth bullet-proof vest” is small enough to fit in your pocket yet packed with enough radio-wave-blocking technology to keep out even the most advanced hackers.  Your new cell phone will be snuggled in, safely protected from all radio signals, ensuring your phone will never get a virus from another infected device.  As an added bonus our new product will also protect you from all the cancer-causing radio waves emitted by your cell phone.  Even if you don’t have a Bluetooth-enabled cell phone the health benefits of the “vest” are worth the investment.  Imagine the feeling of security that will wash over you, knowing that both you and your device are now totally protected from harmful cell phone RF.

Want to be one of the next generation of tech gazillionaires?  Get in on the ground floor with our new company!  Angel investors may submit proof of fiscal liquidity directly (no checks or credit cards please, just send cash in small, unmarked bills).

Jef Raskin
1944 - 2005

But, in a pinch, Frito's seem to work just fine.  I recommend you pop the chocolate icing in the microwave for a few seconds... helps prevent chip breakage.

Mmm... chocolate Frito's... just like mom used to make.

This video on Mike's page was too fun not to share.

They look so happy.

I never fail to find funny stuff on Steve Davis's web site... this one kept me up well past my bed time.

Let's say you're an evil genius (perhaps, only 36% evil as of the time of this post) and you want to make a big splash by destroying something.  You could aim small, like a cruise ship (see: Speed 2), or perhaps a small island in the Florida keys (see: True Lies) or even bigger, like the west coast of California (see: Superman).

If you are, however, truly truely evil and you want to make a really really evil name for yourself, destoying life on earth, even all life on earth, will not be quite enough.  You'll need to set your sights much higher (think Darth Vader high): destroy the earth itself.  Sam has created a page examining some of the potential methods for destroying the earth and evaluated them for feasibility.  His page will prove invaluable if you are hatching your next big evil plan.

If, on the other hand, you aren't evil but have a yen for science fiction and enjoy Douglas Adams-esque humor, you'll find the site a fun read.

UPS, FedEX, USPS... take note: if you can do a better job keeping track of packages than DHL I will insist that all shipments to me use your services.

I recently ordered three items from Dell computer... a pair of LCD monitors for me and my wife and a docking station for my wife's laptop.  All three packages were picked up at identical times from Dell by DHL.  Two of the packages are identically-sized, the third very close in size.  All three packages are being shipped to the same location, my home.  Check out the shipping status table below and tell me if you can spot my frustration?

Every item was picked up from Dell by DHL at the exact same time on Friday.  Even though the box for the Dock is going to be a similar size to the monitor boxes, the Dock is 5 lbs and the monitors are 26 lbs... let's give DHL the benefit of the doubt and expect the monitors will be traveling together.  No?  They're not?  One arrived yesterday... 3 days ahead of schedule.

Okay, let's give DHL the benefit of the doubt and expect they'll get the same level of tracking detail.  Oops, sorry.  One package was tracked through a sorting facility in Ohio... the other simply showed up in San Jose with no intermediate stops. 

What about the dock?  It’s been “in transit” since the day it was picked up… no other detail is available… naturally.  Tracking number?  What’s that for?

"Hey Reeves, you got a package early, you should be happy."

Well, sure, if I didn't have a job and my wife wasn't in school we could sit at home all week waiting for the packages to trickle in.  Heck, I'd be happy with a semi-accurate tracking of the packages so I could plan to be home to receive them.  Having no idea when the boxes will arrive is disconcerting.  Receiving the 3 orders over a random number of days is frustrating.  Knowing I ordered a stack of expensive computer equipment and the shipper is sloppy in tracking and handling it is annoying.  Calling DHL to suggest they be more consistent and getting the attitude of "hey, you got your package early, you should be happy" is infuriating.  DHL, that's one step away from saying "hey, you got your package, you should be happy."

DHL: From this day forward I'm going to insist all shippers use UPS, FedEX or USPS... and I will pay extra for the privilege of not using your sloppy service.

A couple of e-mails slowed my progress on work this am...

A random vacation from reality sent by Ellie:

1) Go to http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/206373
2) Go to "watch this movie", click on "without subtitles"
3) Enjoy the Romanian beats

A fascinating bit of science fiction sent around by Aditya:

In the year 2014, The New York Times has gone offline...

New Tech News World article: Microsoft and Pfizer Team Up Against Viagra Spammers

C'mon, what happened to the good old days of clever headlines?  How about:

"Unwanted advances from Viagra spammers turn off Microsoft and Pfizer"
                  Or
"Microsoft and Pfizer work to hold down Viagra Spammers"

I'm sure you can do better than that, give me your best headline, click the comment link.

Related story: EarthLink, Microsoft, Pfizer File Barrage of Spam Suits