UPS, FedEX, USPS... take note: if you can do a better job keeping track of packages than DHL I will insist that all shipments to me use your services.

I recently ordered three items from Dell computer... a pair of LCD monitors for me and my wife and a docking station for my wife's laptop.  All three packages were picked up at identical times from Dell by DHL.  Two of the packages are identically-sized, the third very close in size.  All three packages are being shipped to the same location, my home.  Check out the shipping status table below and tell me if you can spot my frustration?

Every item was picked up from Dell by DHL at the exact same time on Friday.  Even though the box for the Dock is going to be a similar size to the monitor boxes, the Dock is 5 lbs and the monitors are 26 lbs... let's give DHL the benefit of the doubt and expect the monitors will be traveling together.  No?  They're not?  One arrived yesterday... 3 days ahead of schedule.

Okay, let's give DHL the benefit of the doubt and expect they'll get the same level of tracking detail.  Oops, sorry.  One package was tracked through a sorting facility in Ohio... the other simply showed up in San Jose with no intermediate stops. 

What about the dock?  It’s been “in transit” since the day it was picked up… no other detail is available… naturally.  Tracking number?  What’s that for?

"Hey Reeves, you got a package early, you should be happy."

Well, sure, if I didn't have a job and my wife wasn't in school we could sit at home all week waiting for the packages to trickle in.  Heck, I'd be happy with a semi-accurate tracking of the packages so I could plan to be home to receive them.  Having no idea when the boxes will arrive is disconcerting.  Receiving the 3 orders over a random number of days is frustrating.  Knowing I ordered a stack of expensive computer equipment and the shipper is sloppy in tracking and handling it is annoying.  Calling DHL to suggest they be more consistent and getting the attitude of "hey, you got your package early, you should be happy" is infuriating.  DHL, that's one step away from saying "hey, you got your package, you should be happy."

DHL: From this day forward I'm going to insist all shippers use UPS, FedEX or USPS... and I will pay extra for the privilege of not using your sloppy service.

A couple of e-mails slowed my progress on work this am...

A random vacation from reality sent by Ellie:

1) Go to http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/206373
2) Go to "watch this movie", click on "without subtitles"
3) Enjoy the Romanian beats

A fascinating bit of science fiction sent around by Aditya:

In the year 2014, The New York Times has gone offline...

New Tech News World article: Microsoft and Pfizer Team Up Against Viagra Spammers

C'mon, what happened to the good old days of clever headlines?  How about:

"Unwanted advances from Viagra spammers turn off Microsoft and Pfizer"
                  Or
"Microsoft and Pfizer work to hold down Viagra Spammers"

I'm sure you can do better than that, give me your best headline, click the comment link.

Related story: EarthLink, Microsoft, Pfizer File Barrage of Spam Suits

Here's some Hotmail trivia to impress your friends:

• Hotmail is used in more than 220 countries and territories – more than the number recognized by the United Nations.
• If MSN Hotmail’s 190M active accounts were citizens of a single country, it would be the world’s 5th largest country. 

No. 5, MSN Hotmail, 190mm
No. 6, Brazil 184mm
No. 7, Pakistan, 159mm
No. 8, Russia, 144mm
No. 9, Bangladesh, 141mm

• If connected hand-to-hand, the 190 million MSN Hotmail members would circle the Earth at the equator over five and a half times. 
• MSN Hotmail e-mail service members number more than the combined population of the world’s 20 largest cities.
• If all MSN Hotmail members were standing in single file, they would line the length of the Great Wall of China or the Nile River (the longest river in the world) over 17 times.
• The MSN Hotmail user base has grown more than 18 times since January 1998, which is more than the world population has grown in the last fifty years.
• Since 1997, MSN® Hotmail® has grown nearly 20 times from 10 million to 190 million subscribers.
• In 2001 and 2003 MSN Hotmail was featured in the Guinness Book of World Records as the world’s largest free Web-based e-mail service provider. 

I love free music... well, I love free legal music.  I may have to wait a while for another Mercedes Benz mixed tape but starting tomorrow (2/8) MSN Music is starting its Grammy blitz by giving away one free song from each category.  A panel of music professionals is going to attempt to predict the winner in each category... then MSN Music will give away the song predicted to win.  So, not only is it free music, it's good, free music.  You know it's good, the professionals told you so.

Now, before you point out that I'm just being a corporate pawn to Microsoft let me say this... first: I am a total pawn, second: even if I weren't a pawn I still like free music.  So there, I'm a sell-out... but I'm a cheap, stingy sell-out... that must be worth something.

There will be one free song per day, starting on February 8th.  Using my top-secret, internal Microsoft sources I've determined the order the songs will be released in is:

1. Tuesday, Feb. 8: Best Male Pop Vocal Performance/Best Female Pop Vocal Performance
2. Wednesday, Feb. 9: Best Rock Song
3. Thursday, Feb. 10: Best Rap Song
4. Friday, Feb. 11: Best R&B Song
5. Saturday, Feb. 12: Best Country Song

So, there you are, in the greatest of corporate traditions a big company has told you what you're going to like.

I was up until 10:30 last night fast-forwarding through football just to get to the commercials.  If I had only known that MSN Video would have put all the commercials up on their web page for easy viewing.  One question... do they get extra money from the advertisers for doing it?  I noticed they weren't able to get them all for some reason.

My top 5:
5.  The mystery of Hammer's disappearance
4.  Burt Reynolds getting kicked in the jimmy
3.  A new action figure for my collection
2.  P Diddy driving sales of the latest must-have star ride

and

1.  Monkeys and fart jokes?  Home run

Ah... Ad Critic, we barely knew you.

The broadband world has been here for a while but getting good content over the net is still not a simple matter.  Where's that on-demand, world-wide entertainment network we've been promised?

Well, for you fans of Indian movies there is now a site for you which allows you to download digital copies of movies.  Movies like Raincoat which your local movie store will never carry... or new releases like Dhoom which even aren't yet available on Netflix.  Not only are the latest movies available but you can get them much faster than driving to your local video store and way faster than Blockbuster Online.

If movies with people randomly bursting in to song and dance are your cup of tea, then check out Masala Downloads (http://www.masaladownloads.com).

If, on the other hand, Jean-Claude Van Damme is your cup of tea... simply switch on Spike TV... he's sure to show up at some point.

This quote was given to Fareed Zakaria, the international editor for Newsweek, by an Iraqi politician:

"There are currently two Grand Ayatollahs running Iraq: Sistani and Bush. Most of us feel that Sistani is the more rational."

Fareed wrote an optimistic opinion piece about Ayatollah Ali Sistani and the effects of his leadership in Iraq.  It's a good read.