Principle Skeleton by Graham Annable

 
(click to watch)

You want to market your new smartphone? No problem, just figure out the feature the public really wants and put that into your display ads.

Pick a really cool feature, something like, oh, I don’t know... wallpaper?

Created by Oatmeal

My favorite Muppets were always the Swedish Chef, Beaker, Animal and the yip yip aliens. Three outa four ain’t bad.

It takes a very cute kitten to make me write like a teenage girl.

Here’s how my brain works:

1. Paula sends me an instant message asking my schedule tonight
2. I tell her I have to finish some slides
3. Paula tells me she’s going to take a short nap, so don’t call when I’m coming home, just e-mail
4. I say okay, then I think: “e-mail”
5. Then I think: Homestar Runner saying “e-mail”
6. Then I think: I want to look at a thing in a bag
7. Then I watch this:

The thing in the bag, “it’s friggin’ awesome!”

Yes, there are people out there who will click on ads, on occasion I’m one of them. Today I was intrigued by an ad’s description, saying something about a crazy man’s landscape... so I clicked and was taken to Foreverscape.

Imagine what you’d get if you handed Salvador Dali a pen and an endless roll of paper... then you started feeding him acid. What starts out as a fairly ordinary scene slowly melts into a stream of consciousness rolling dreamscape, with meteor showers, train wrecks and fishing astronauts.

The landscape (by Vance Feldman) is embedded in the page and will automatically scroll by. Just head on over to Foreverscape for the visual treat. Be sure turn down the lights, put on “The Dark Side of the Moon”... and don’t forget to wrap a towel around your head to keep the mess to a minimum.

---------

Update: I wasn’t sure who the foreverscape artist was, but via comment and e-mail Vance hooked me up with links to his site. Thanks Vance!

Maybe I just need to find the right cat. Perhaps this guy:

Like this: at the top of UPI’s “Top News Photos” section today were pictures from inside and outside the general assembly... where it looks like everyone is dancing.

Incidentally... is Kadhafi engaging in a little stealth disco?

[From Almost Makes Sense]

70’s meets 80’s.

But don’t stop there. Watch the mashup side by side with the original and marvel at the mashupyness of it all.

[The Daily What > Nerdcore > Gizmodo > Here]

Discovering that Raggedy Andy liked playing with dolls more than girls, Raggedy Ann went on a 3 day bender, heading to rehab only after making a scene for the paparazzi.

I think this dog found some.

... yeah, that's the spot.

I really, really miss having a dog.  At least I have web videos like this to fill part of the need.

Well, technically it's a video off the web, but I wouldn't have found it without Joel McHale.

Want more? Some more Beaker action here!

Ah, it's that time of year again... announcements of fake stuff. 

I do however, really want an Xbox wireless helmet.

I guess this was shown during the CES keynote this year, but I just saw it for the first time while watching the keynotes for the MS Office SharePoint Conference this AM. 

Video: Bill Gates Last Day CES Clip

... now I'm just annoyed.

here's Elmo!

After changing the batteries on her son's Elmo doll, Elmo appears to be channeling Jack Nicholson.  The programmable doll is able to learn a child's name and repeat it as part of a variety of phrases.  A glitch, however, makes it sound like it's saying "Kill James".

Death-threat Elmo brightened my day a bit until I watched the CNN video.  What killed the buzz?  The mother is obviously angling for a cash settlement from Fisher-Price.  Fisher-Price offered to replace the toy and investigate, so why does the mother still have the toy which she states has her "distraught" and is causing her a "hassle"?  She clearly thinks she's holding a little red lottery ticket.

C'mon lady, take the replacement doll and laugh it off!  Worry less about how your kid is affected by the doll and more about what he learns from how you handle the situation.

I coworker sent these to me... they're too fun not to share:

There were a bunch more fun visual advertisements in the e-mail, I stuck a bunch in a cool advertising gallery on our picture site.  Enjoy!

... trying to absorb a whole new job is really taking it out of me.  Perhaps a little stop motion to get me going...

(thanks Jason for the vid)

... but rock stars have a shorter expected life span due to [gasp] use of alcohol and drugs.

If you have a choice in the matter, however, be a pop star in Europe... you'll live longer.

You can read all the shocking details in the Journal of Epidemiology and Community Health.  While on their site you can read other fascinating studies like "Drinking water makes you less thirsty" and "Playing in the street can cause injury".

I'm going to need Babel Fish's bimbo-to-English translator for this one.

Video: Miss Teen USA 2007

Natural history museums are cool.  Called "the dead zoo" by a friend, these taxidermic havens are filled with the preserved bodies of all sorts of creatures.  While not explicitly designed to scare small children, the exhibits can be, at times, a bit morbid.  Walking through a room of dead beasties makes me wonder... what do taxidermists do when they're not busy cramming carcases full of sawdust?  

Sarina Brewer is a cross between a taxidermist an artist and Edger Allen Poe.  When she's not working as a taxidermist for museums or working on wildlife rescue projects she recycles animal parts into fantasy creatures.  The results range from the fantastic to the truly bizarre.

Using reclaimed animal parts from road kill, victims of animal trade and animals that died of natural causes, Sarina creates taxidermic displays.  She does do traditional work, but the really cool stuff is, however, her "fantasy work".  There is, of course, the classic  Jackalope... but even her squirrel liquor decanter can be considered tame as you browse deeper into her body of work.  Using her taxidermic skilz and fine art degree Sarina blends the animal bits into curious, fantastic and sometimes disturbing creatures. 

Creepy?  Yes.  But how cool would it be to have your own flying monkey?

Paula and I were chatting about getting change (for money) this morning and it reminded me of the old SNL skit for the Citiwide First Bank of Change... I had to, of course go find it.

Is this cool?

I showed this video of a "singing Tesla coil" to Paula and she just kind of shrugged.  It's a solid-state Tesla coil owned by an EE student at U of I which is able to create tones by sending out sparks in precise bursts.  Day-um.

I think this thing is wicked cool.  Then again... perhaps this just tests if you are a guy.

My computer career started in IT support... I didn't realize how long the role had been around.

Video: The first help desk ever

(Thanks for the video mom!)

Jason forwarded me this hilarious Bud Light commercial.  While it might be able to be shown on cable TV, I doubt any major network would play it during prime time... something to keep in mind before you crank up your speakers and play it in your cube.

Video: Bud Light Swear Jar commercial

Paula and I were at the theatre last night and before the latest installment of the Pirates of the Caribbean they ran an ad for what looked like the latest installment of Grand Theft Auto...

For a couple of years now my blog reading has had a little extra sunshine: Steve Davis's blog, too much time on his hands... entertained me with his tales of torturing cold-callers, throwing very small stones at the Russian mafia and the joys of living with snakes.

But alas, Steve has decided to hang up his blogging hat (perhaps in favor of selling web hosting and Fake Australian IDs).

I'll miss the humour Steve, but I hope you do realize, stopping blogging doesn't get you out of your offer to entertain me when I finally make it to Queensland.  I'll take the room without the snake please.

An entertaining video of juggler Chris Bliss's routine set to music from the Beatles.  Sure, he only uses 3 balls... it's still way better than I can over hope to do.

The clever folks at the Cumbria board of tourism have come up with a novel plan to get "the YouTube generation" connect with the Poetry of William Wordsworth.

This year marks the 200th anniversary of Wordsworth's poem "I Wandered Lonely As A Cloud ", a work apparently inspired by the beauty of the Cumbria Lake District.  To honor the anniversary the board of tourism has graciously given the poem a dust-off.. "to help the next generation of Lake District visitors connect with his work."

And just how do you help the next generation connect with Wordsworth poetry?  Well, it's plainly obvious, you turn it into a rap... performed by a guy in a squirrel suit.

You have to give them points for creativity... but marketing acumen? I'm not convinced your average Barney fan is really going to be making travel plans.

Still trying to wrap my head around being back to work (jet lag sucks).  Since I am unable to formulate an intelligent thought, I'll just share this nifty video with you (thanks Jason!):

I get the feeling that a spanking might not be a deterrent.

Israel has recalled its ambassador to El Salvador after he was found drunk and naked apart from bondage gear.

Reports say he was able to identify himself to police only after a rubber ball had been removed from his mouth.

Full story on BBC: Israel recalls 'naked ambassador'

Here's an old Starbucks commercial to get you up and going on this, the first day of work for 2007.

I was trying to describe this to my brother-in-law, Barry, over Christmas and just had to dig it up. 

Oh, and yes, that really is Survivor following Glen (The Survivor lead singer can also be heard on the Bud Light "Real Men of Genius" commercials).

I received a misdirected piece of e-mail today which, for some unknown reason, I find tremendously funny.

From: xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Sent: 13 December 2006 00:30
To: Reeves Little
Subject: Re: Alex Smith

WHAT WILL YOUR TEST CONSIST OF? I ALREADY HAVE HIM STUDYING FOR THEM.

DO YOU HAVE ANY PROJECTS THAT YOU COULD USE BROKEN JEWELRY. I BOUGHT SOME JEWELRY THAT WAS MESSED UP AND FIXED WHAT I COULD OUT OF IT, AND I HAVE A LOT OF MISFIT JEWERLY AND BROKEN JEWELRY THAT COULD BE USED FOR SOMETHING.
LET ME KNOW
xxxxxxxxx

>
> From: xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
> Date: 2006/12/12 Tue AM 09:26:14 EST
> To: xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
> Subject: Alex xxxxx
>
> Mrs. xxxxxxxx,
> Alex's behavior has improved. Just a reminder, MId-term exams are next week.
>
> xxxxxxxx
> Art teacher
>

I suppose part of it is I'm imagining little Alex at home studying hard for finger painting and smashing his mother's jewelry.

Not satisfied with taking the fun out of most everything else, lawyers have now turned their attention on that most sacred of childhood pastimes: a good game of tag.  Schools, for fear of being sued by parents, have now started to ban any game in which a child might possibly get hurt.

Lawyers, be forewarned: when I become all-powerful (it'll happen any day now, I'm sure) I'm going to stick you in a very small room with the guy who invented those wretched plastic clamshell security packages and Corey Feldman.  In that room you will be locked for all time, fed only Oreo cookies (without milk, of course) and forced to listen to a never-ending stream of Celine Dion ballads.

Link to School bans tag, other chase games - CNN.com

Steve Davis has been tormenting cold-callers again.  This time he works his magic on a mortgage broker.  Check out the recordings at http://coldcallcomedy.com/.  I recommend Mortgage House #2, I'm listening to it now and ... oop, I've wet myself.

I couldn't believe it wasn't just photoshopped when I first hit this page... but there are videos down at the bottom of the page that show it open and running.  Impressive.

For more pictures and to watch the videos go to benheck.com.

Oh great... yet another 419 e-mail! A mail from someone I don't know, terrible grammar, bizarre introduction... but wait... what's this? This isn't like any scam mail I've see to date.  There's tension, conflict... I was sucked in by the drama and emotion.  I took a sharp breath, wiped back a tear with the heel of my hand and read on...

Goodday to you today from BELA

Can i trust you and take me as your blood?if so i will be happy in my life

We are one but they denied me,naturally it may interest you to know that i am BELA 20 years old university student of Rep of Benin calavi,Rep of Benin.

I wonder why i was disown by the family of my father that i was adopted by my father and the culture did not allow me to stay in their family after the news was broken to me that my father involve in a motort accident that claim his life and four others.

From that very day i was rejected from the family and i learn from my father that i was 16months old when my mother died.

I went back to my school in Rep of Benin with the little money i have with me.

Two months later i receive a message from my father's lawyer that my father have a consignment that contain(10.5musd) in a security company in europe in which am the next of kin and he handed over all the document to me and advise me to keep away from the family and claim the consignment for my life make me to realise that truely i was adopted by my father.

After, i contact the company to confirm and it is true and they are waiting for me to come for the collection and given option of convey it to any destination i like.

Please i will like you to come to my aid to help me out of this problem for the collection of this consignment and provide account for safe keeping of the money for investment and to live africa and come to you to live the rest of my live in your country and invest with money.

If you can help me i will give to you 20% of the money.
Notice that you will sign agreement with me to avoid future mis-understanding.

Without no hesitation can i forward your name as beneficiary to thecompany? if so Give me your full name and address,tel/fax number andyour passport copy or ID.

waiting your urgent reply at

belalawson@excite.com

Also your telephonecontact.

REGARDS

BELA

Tonight we were entertaining friends for dinner and someone mentioned it was time to chop the broccoli for dinner... and Paula started singing.  Our friends are 10 years younger than we are so... YouTube to the rescue!

... but does it taste like chicken?

A couple of folks with some extra time have put together a medly of some of the Internet's most popular songs including "All Your Base are belong to us", "Peanut Butter Jelley Time", "Badger, Badger" and nine others.  So, as Disturbed sez, "Here's a little someting for your earhole."

There's no URL, I have no idea what it's selling, it was in plain text (i.e. it didn't have a web beacon to probe for receipt) and... well... it is just plain weird.

"I'm not going into the Zone. What instructions do you have?"
As simply and as quickly as that, Kirk Maynard Gull spread his wings,
"What?"
forty miles per hour! And under control! If I dive from five thousand feet

In a story by London's Daily Mail earlier this month we learned something new about the Queen's main squeeze: a tribe of 400 on the South Sea island of Tanna revere him as the human face of an ancestral spirit who, according to legend, left their island and married a queen.

I think the water bottle is the coolest.

Steve got tired of having his bank charge him fees so he instituted his own set of fees... when the bank called him to verify a wire transfer he informed them of the $5 fee for calling him to verify the transfer.  Read the transcript on his blog for the exchange he had with the bank rep.

Six minutes of inspired dancing by "Inspirational Comedian" Judson Laipply.

While waiting for Windows XP to install on my freshly installed Virtual PC I found my way over to YouTube and fell under the spell of this David Hasselhoff video. The concept for the video obviously came from a poor translation of something Tommy Chong wrote in his own vomit after an all-night bender.  The special effects appear to have been done by the creepy geek who hangs out in the computer lab (and not the smart geek you want to have fix stuff, the other guy with the really poor hygiene).

And yet... I couldn't take my eyes off it...

Ever see people standing around a lobster tank trying to decide which one they should request?

Always one to be prepared, my parents have had a living will in effect for many years.  My dad just forwarded me his latest copy:

I, __________________________, being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means.
 
Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of nitwit politicians who couldn't pass ninth-grade biology if their lives depended on it or lawyers/doctors interested in simply running up the bills.
 
If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to ask for at least one of the following:
 
 ______a Glass of Wine,
 
 ______a Margarita,
 
 ______a Cold Beer,
 
 ______anything Chocolate,
 
 ______a pork chop
 
 ______shrimp, lobster, crab legs or fish,
 
 ______the remote control
 
 ______a  bowl of ice cream
 
 ______a culinary magazine of any kind
 
 ______a hot dog, hamburger or bologna sandwich
 
 ______Sex
 
it should be presumed that I won't ever get better.
 
    When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my appointed person and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes and call it a day.  At this point it is time to call the New Orleans Jazz Funeral Band to come do their thing at my funeral, and ask all of my friends to raise their glasses to toast the good times we have had.

Signature:      ___________________________

Date:     ___________________________

Do you like movies?  Do you like spoofs?  Are you just tired of the hype around Brokeback Mountain? 

If you answered yes to any of the questions above, here's a little Friday diversion for you: check out the movie trailers for "Brokeback To The Future" and "Top Gun 2, Brokeback Squadron". 

I found the pointers to these clips in a great NPR article on spoof movie trailers (and for you etymologysts, it has an interesting little sidebar on the origin of the word "satire").  The NPR story links to a number of spoofs, including my favorite, a trailer for a nice, uplifting comedic drama, "Shining".

(note: don't bother watching the trailers for "Big" or "Taxi Driver", they fall short)

Some more wonderful web kismet today... wismet, if you will.

I was looking for a link I had tossed in my "interesting" folder in favorites and noticed another link in there I didn't recognize (it was an old link to an indi comic site).  Through that link I found Andrew Bell's "the creatures in my head" page.  This site, full of wonderful, expressive creatures, sucked me in.  I highly recommend checking out his site.

You can navigate Andrew's pictures chronologically, but I recommend hitting the "random" button on the page (go to his site, click on the creature on the homepage to get the navigation, then click "random"). Andrew creates the pictures then ads a delightfully appropriate caption, take the time to read those too (the picture below-right is titled "but... you said no one would get hurt.")

Trina posted the first installment of these two Chinese students lip synching "I want it that way" about a month ago... and Paula and I almost wet ourselves.

Well, if you were waiting for more, wait no longer... they're back with their interpretation of "As long as you love me". 

Yeah... the guy is still playing doom in the background, oblivious.

And yeah, the first one is still better.

Bengt, Steve and I spent a bunch of time posturing to figure out who could get their blog to the top of the Google search results for a made up word.  It's a page rank game, how "popular" is your web site?

Bah, kid stuff.  Real men (real capitalist men) care about money.  Here's the acid test: How much is your blog worth?

Thanks Tom for the pointer!

Ah... it's the random stuff that's the best.

Here's a guy who dresses up like Elvis... dressed up like a storm trooper.

Yes, it's...

This made me happy:

Dad's home

Click then click "watch this movie!"

(don't tell me it's old... I'm just out of touch)

I find it strangely disturbing that Activision has people running around graveyards playing a somewhat morbid game of poker relying on info from tombstones.  Sure, marketing never really worries too much about who they offend... as long as they sell stuff.  I've always felt that "dead is dead" and the residents of the graveyard would be fine with this kind of stuff... I just worry about how the living feel.

I'd love to have been a fly on the wall in the meeting where they approached the graveyard operator.

"Hi, we want permission to let a crowd of nerds into your graveyard to run around playing poker.  It'll be okay, we promise... it's to sell a video game."

Visit C|Net for more info: 'Graveyard Games' makes lively debut in Bay Area

According to Wikipedia, Northwest Airlines changed its logo in April of 2003... it took until now for me to notice the change... or the connection.

Last night I pulled up some of the Internet humor files I used to have on my site and moved them into a directory on this site.  In the process I came across the All your base are belong to us flash movie I saved.  I reminisced a bit with coworkers and Steve pointed out that there is an excellent article on wikipedia about the phenom.

Ah... good times.

I don't understand exactly why... but I'm mesmerized by this: http://www.little-planet.net/fun/.

Try grabbing them by the feet.

When I was a kid... aw heck, I'm still a kid.

Let me start again, when I was 9 my G.I. Joes used to "hang out" with my sister's Barbie dolls (hey, I was 9, give me a break).  I can't imagine, however, a Jesus Action Figure doing the same thing. 

Perhaps I just need to wait for the Mary Magdalene doll.

In the 70’s I used to listen to my dad’s Bill Cosby albums, in the 80’s I used to watch the Cosby show and in the 90’s I cringed when Bill Cosby would go on one of his inevitable moral tirades against [insert vice here].  Now, the Internet has provided me with a cathartic poke at America's favorite overbearing parent… House of Cosbys.

If you want to enjoy some well produced, animated hilarity, hop on over to channel 101 and check out the first four episodes.  You may want to hurry, however… the Cosby lawyers already have gotten wind of the show and the animators have been served with a cease and desist (and none-too-soon, the show is obviously destroying America's morality... House of Cosbys is without-a-doubt the inspiration for MTV's Jackass, NBC's Fear Factor and the perpetually disgusting Oprah Winfrey).

And now, for something completely different (yet totally related)... my short list of people who take themselves waaaaaay too seriously:
   Bill Cosby
   Bono
   Tom Cruise

I was at a special Microsoft campus recently and had the distinct privilege of being allowed into the top secret research wing.  The most interesting work being done at this facility is Microsoft Research's ultra-secret experimentation with worm holes.

If anyone asks, you didn’t hear it from me.

The building name has been blurred out, of course, for security reasons (click for larger version).

Headline from the Onion:

Gmail User Pities Hotmail User

A quote:

"I feel so bad for you, needing to squeeze into 250 MB of storage space,"

I love it!   Read the full story.

Hey computer industry writers… you want to get geeks interested in your tech article?  Incorporate espionage into your gadget review.   Throwing in a reference to 007 or some other, handsome, non-geek-like, gadget-swinging spy is like rubbing bacon grease on dog treats, it’s really not necessary… but it really gets the dog excited and is a whole lot of fun to watch (there’s nothing more entertaining than nerd drool).

The latest thing that caught my eye was in an eWEEK Labs write up by Cameron Sturdevant of a new Mobile Edge bag:

Bluetooth Bunker Protects Devices
Taking a page from a spy novel, Mobile Edge offers stylish computer carriers with a Wireless Security Shield Pocket.

Gasp!  Spy novels?!?  Tell me more.

Taking a page from a spy novel, Mobile Edge offers stylish computer carriers with a Wireless Security Shield Pocket—made of radio-blocking material that forms a physical firewall between mobile devices and hackers or virus-infected Bluetooth devices—big enough to accommodate a PDA and a small cell phone handset.

My testing at eWEEK Labs proved that no radio signals penetrated the pocket, thus protecting my Bluetooth-enabled devices from possible viral infection just by being in close proximity to a compromised wireless device.

Now, I know what you’re thinking: “My cell phone is small and portable… if I’m going out for the evening I don’t want to carry a briefcase just to protect my valuable cell phone.  There’s no way I’m going to show up on the red carpet at the Oscars carrying a huge bag!”

No worries.  Aditya and I are starting a new business based around our new, hacker-proof shield for your cell phone.  Our “Bluetooth bullet-proof vest” is small enough to fit in your pocket yet packed with enough radio-wave-blocking technology to keep out even the most advanced hackers.  Your new cell phone will be snuggled in, safely protected from all radio signals, ensuring your phone will never get a virus from another infected device.  As an added bonus our new product will also protect you from all the cancer-causing radio waves emitted by your cell phone.  Even if you don’t have a Bluetooth-enabled cell phone the health benefits of the “vest” are worth the investment.  Imagine the feeling of security that will wash over you, knowing that both you and your device are now totally protected from harmful cell phone RF.

Want to be one of the next generation of tech gazillionaires?  Get in on the ground floor with our new company!  Angel investors may submit proof of fiscal liquidity directly (no checks or credit cards please, just send cash in small, unmarked bills).

But, in a pinch, Frito's seem to work just fine.  I recommend you pop the chocolate icing in the microwave for a few seconds... helps prevent chip breakage.

Mmm... chocolate Frito's... just like mom used to make.

This video on Mike's page was too fun not to share.

They look so happy.

I never fail to find funny stuff on Steve Davis's web site... this one kept me up well past my bed time.

Let's say you're an evil genius (perhaps, only 36% evil as of the time of this post) and you want to make a big splash by destroying something.  You could aim small, like a cruise ship (see: Speed 2), or perhaps a small island in the Florida keys (see: True Lies) or even bigger, like the west coast of California (see: Superman).

If you are, however, truly truely evil and you want to make a really really evil name for yourself, destoying life on earth, even all life on earth, will not be quite enough.  You'll need to set your sights much higher (think Darth Vader high): destroy the earth itself.  Sam has created a page examining some of the potential methods for destroying the earth and evaluated them for feasibility.  His page will prove invaluable if you are hatching your next big evil plan.

If, on the other hand, you aren't evil but have a yen for science fiction and enjoy Douglas Adams-esque humor, you'll find the site a fun read.

A couple of e-mails slowed my progress on work this am...

A random vacation from reality sent by Ellie:

1) Go to http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/206373
2) Go to "watch this movie", click on "without subtitles"
3) Enjoy the Romanian beats

A fascinating bit of science fiction sent around by Aditya:

In the year 2014, The New York Times has gone offline...

New Tech News World article: Microsoft and Pfizer Team Up Against Viagra Spammers

C'mon, what happened to the good old days of clever headlines?  How about:

"Unwanted advances from Viagra spammers turn off Microsoft and Pfizer"
                  Or
"Microsoft and Pfizer work to hold down Viagra Spammers"

I'm sure you can do better than that, give me your best headline, click the comment link.

Related story: EarthLink, Microsoft, Pfizer File Barrage of Spam Suits

I was up until 10:30 last night fast-forwarding through football just to get to the commercials.  If I had only known that MSN Video would have put all the commercials up on their web page for easy viewing.  One question... do they get extra money from the advertisers for doing it?  I noticed they weren't able to get them all for some reason.

My top 5:
5.  The mystery of Hammer's disappearance
4.  Burt Reynolds getting kicked in the jimmy
3.  A new action figure for my collection
2.  P Diddy driving sales of the latest must-have star ride

and

1.  Monkeys and fart jokes?  Home run

Ah... Ad Critic, we barely knew you.

While working on the Hotmail schedule I discovered that my worth as a PM has been diminished now that I'm a lead.  I know it's true, our project management software, used for scheduling work, proves it. 

Computers can't lie, right?

Er... creative and just plain weird.

Dip a maggot in paint and watch it wander across a page.  Use different colors of paint and you get...

wait for it...

Maggot Art!

The description on their web page really sounds much more wholesome:

Maggot Art™ is a fantastic new teaching tool for use in the elementary school setting.  Children get hands-on experience with insects that most people find truly disgusting -- maggots -- while creating a beautiful piece of artwork to share with others.

Found on Kukla's blog.

No, it's not that questionable appetizer your Aunt Mildred serves...

it's playing table hockey...

with nuts...

against squirrels.

A hint, you get bonus points for hitting the squirrels in the naughty bits.

Enjoy! table nutball

A friend e-mailed me...

[My Wife's] crt stopped working so I took a look around making sure everything was still plugged in, etc., Then I took a look on top where the cat likes to sit on the cooling vents to keep warm and found a pile of cat barf. After removing the monitor I found liquid had traveled from the top to the bottom, shorting out the crt.

I would have sent a picture of the problem but the dogs ate the barf.

Do you ever install a new piece of software and find that it breaks something else?  This person had the same problem. :D

Icon Story

I'm as big an animal lover as the next guy... but this is just... well... odd.

"Imagine: your dog, cat, or other pet in full military regalia. I make this fantasy a reality. Using the latest digital techniques, I combine a photo of your pet with the uniform and background of your choice."

Fantasy?  You mean like: “I love a man in uniform, now lick my boots Sgt. Spot!”?  Ewww!!!

Get your freak on at http://www.petsinuniform.com

Click for scary-big.

Ginger Elvis says: “I taste better than fried peanut butter and banana sandwiches!  Thank you very much!”

<crunch> Ginger Elvis's head has left the building.

Perhaps it was made with Swiss cheese, it's hole-y!  Hole-y!  Get it?  Holes in cheese?  Sounds like holy?  Anyone?  C'mon, this is great stuff! 

Virgin Mary Grilled Cheese

Update: eBay auction saved for my own little web time-capsule

The reason the World Wide Web is called the World Wide Web is because it’s filled with interconnected links, allowing you to move from site to site.  Do you ever do that?

When I first started using the web, yes, I did click around from site to site, it was kind of neat.  Now, when I want some information I go to a search engine (typically Google, but I’ve just installed the MSN toolbar, but I digress), type in a search and go directly to the info I want.  I do very little “browsing” when on the web.  Two reasons:

1. Many sites actively seek to keep you on their site
2. The web is getting really, really big… wandering is not as interesting as it used to be, there’s just too much random crap.

The thing that has brought back interest in web surfing for me is the concept of the blog sphere.  A blog sphere is a subset of a subset of the web; it’s the blogs (one subset) I read (another sub set).  This narrowing of scope has made it much easier to navigate the web in an ad hoc fashion as I am no longer presented with the overwhelming scope of the web… I’m presented with the web as seen by people I think are interesting (who find interesting links, produce interesting content or are, simply, interesting).

All day today I’ve been listening to a new, free album I downloaded from Mercedes Benz (yes, the auto manufacturer).  Seeing as you don’t expect go looking for music on a car manufacturer’s site and I don’t own a Mercedes (or a Chrysler for that matter) it’s unlikely I would have happened upon this site on my own.  I found it because Paul left a comment on my blog, and he entered the URL for his blog.  Reading his blog I found the info on the Benz free music download.

Viewed as a whole, the web is full of a bunch of random crap.  Viewed through the filter of the people with whom I share a connection it becomes a whole lot more interesting.

Sure... jackhammers... add it to the list lady.  (click for big)

Edit 10/7/2004: Snopes picked up the story.

With the release of the Star Wars DVDs last week everyone has the classic films on the brain.  And what goes better with classic films than classic rock?

Mad props to the_man361... whoever you are.

If you want to watch the Olympics, you watch it on one of the NBC stations (which includes MSNBC).

Now, if you're on the web and you tune to MSN Video, guess who provides the Olympic sports clips?  Fox.

Oklahoma Judge Accused Of Pleasuring Himself In Court

State AG Seeks Judge's Removal From Bench

OKLAHOMA CITY -- Oklahoma Attorney General Drew Edmondson asked a state court Thursday to remove a Creek County judge from the bench for allegedly using a sexual device during court proceedings.

The petition asks the Oklahoma Court on the Judiciary to remove Judge Donald Thompson, who is accused of using a penis pump during court proceedings.

Full article

Did I not get the memo that it's open season on doing crazy stuff with food?

• 6/22 in Monterrey: the world's largest taco
• 7/1 in Scottsdale: the world's largest ice cream social
• 7/2 in Portsmouth: the cake with the most lit candles (15, 120)
• 7/2 in Chicago: the world's largest hot dog
• 7/3 in Singapore: the world's largest Satay line
• 7/30 in Singapore: the worlds tallest kaya toast tower

I'm always amazed at how far the on-line world has come in the last ten years.

I'm even more amazed at how much I assume everyone else is amazed by that. 

• I live in a special little world called Silicon Valley.
• I live in a world where everyone has an e-mail address (and most have three). 
• I live in a world where I look suspiciously at any business that doesn't have a web site (even Internet addiction centers have web sites).
• I live in a world where anything that can't be Googled doesn't exist.
• I live in a world where most things that can be Googled still don't exist (killed in a rocket car?  yeah, right).
• I live in a world where WWJD stands for What Would Jobs Do?
• I live in a world where people will buy a Mini because it's compatible with their iPod.
• I live in a world where a reality distortion field isn't science fiction, it's protected by the ADA.
• I live in a world where the coolest computer company only has a fraction of the market and makes most of their money selling MP3 players.
• I live in a world where a project doesn't end when you ship, it ends when you get the T-Shirt.

Ah... paradise.

Hoo boy, I bet this crew is fun a the local neighborhood fourth of July barbecue!

Lance Champion of McMinnville, Tennessee decided to pull over a local deputy for violating the speed limit (Note: Lance isn't a peace officer, he just plays one in his own mind).  The resultant conversation landed 23 year-old Champion in custody for disorderly conduct (um, duh!). 

Champion then did what any good local superhero would do, he called his mom.  Mom Champion next showed up at the scene with Champion's 17 year-old brother. Jr. Champion helped the situation by slapping the hand of a police officer who was supervising the towing of Lance Champion's car. 

Okay kids, what happens when you hit a police officer?  That's right, you get arrested.  Having her two sons arrested was obviously tough on Mom Champion who promptly got herself cuffed for disorderly conduct as well.  Wanna go for a royal flush?

The Champion patriarch, Hal Champion, was able to return from church just in time to help diffuse the situation by showing up and (like a good Christian) through peace, love and understanding promptly get himself taken down with a taser gun and arrested.

Some people shouldn't be allowed to breed.

Yeah, sounded crazy to me too, but it's real and happened on Tuesday, go get the official write up at CNN.

So, you're sitting at home thinking... “I had a Cesarean section with my first child and that means I'll have to have one for my second child.  I should just get a zipper installed for convenience.  But... what would that look like?”

Well, worry no longer, you can try on your own belly zipper navel piercing to be sure you like the look.

... I thought that warm feeling was heart burn.

My lovely wife has started a blog... it does me proud.

A limitless source of power has been tapped by South Africa's Roundabout.  They've created a well pump driven by a merry-go-round.  As the children play, pushing the merry-go-round, a pump pulls water up from the ground into a storage tank.

Say, that reminds me...

Emeka, the matrix has you.

(via boingboing)

It was a traffic accident you sicko!  You should be ashamed!

Mary-Kate's Fender Bender by Lia Haberman May 20, 2004, 2:00 PM PT New York Minute star Mary-Kate Olsen found herself in a Los Angeles predicament Wednesday afternoon. The diminutive tween titan was involved in a freeway accident, her rep confirmed today. Olsen was cruising down the 101 Freeway in her black Range Rover and driving through a construction zone when her SUV was struck from behind by a bodyguard tailing her in a black Yukon.

... but apparently there is something more evil than Microsoft.  Strangely enough, this “evil“ involves Australia and comedy.

Steve	Reeves

I thought it was tough when my teachers made me sit in the corner... at least they didn't have the class beat the snot out of me.

SEAGOVILLE, Texas -- Elementary school students say that a teacher made them line up and slap a classmate.

But wait... that's not all.  Here's the real insanity:

Parents in the district are shocked by the allegations.

They had me going but the story lost all credibility when it implied the parents were actually paying attention to what their children do in school.

Okay, now this is just sad... it's 1:26am and I'm checking Google.

You always hear about people getting scammed, you can't swing a cat without hitting a little old lady who lost her identity on the Internet.  How often do you ever hear about scammers getting scammed?

Mike pointed me to the hilarious bulletin board discussion chronicling the exploits of community of tech savvy people and what happens when a con artist tries to cheat one of them out of a laptop.

A warning in advance... the thread is really really really long.  You may want to start by reading it to get the feel (it is worth digging in a little to enjoy the group as they feed off each other).  When you get overwhelmed by the volume move over to one of the summary pages to get the Cliff's Notes version.

Steve grabbed the top googleblogtag ranking from me and bengt quickly hopped in to kick me while I was down.  Perhaps I am not quite geeky enough (yes, Tami, I've left myself wide open ).

Boy, this blog gets more exciting every day.

[Edit: Whose?  What was I thinking? Should have sumbitted to my editor first]

The gauntlet was thrown and a sound thrashing was handed out.  Bow before me!

Richard gets the prize for first spotting the page.

So... Steve pointed out on his blog that the word “googleblogtag” returns no hits on Google.  So, since he put it in his blog and I put it in mine... who's going to show up first on Google if the word gets indexed?  Also, who gets to be on the top of the page?

The race is on!

How big of a blog chain do you think can be made?  Let's find out:

Check out the trackback link on this entry to see who has linked to it.  Keep following the trackbacks until you find a blog with no trackbacks.  Link your blog to the end of the chain.

Voilà!  Blog chain letter!  Wasn't that fun?

From the pages of the really really bizzare: the popular musician Pink gets her nipples tweaked before going on stage each night.

"I need my nipples squeezed before every show. It gets me pumped to go on stage. My assistant Jackie has it down to a fine art"

http://www.webindia123.com/news/showdetails.asp?id=36460&cat=Entertainment

Because every little kid loves building a fort out of couch cushions and sheets (I know, not “every” kid, but bear with me) there is a great market for grown ups who want a fort too.  Enter 20th Century Castles, a real easte company specializing in decommissioned missile bases.

How cool would it be to have a house with thousands of square feet of underground space?  You thought the basement was cool when you were a kid?  You need a house that's almost all basement.

Not to mention, this will be a great place to live when the whole world goes to hell because we're doomed as a race and...

Oops, there I go again.

A cool Google feature (and there are many, perhaps I'll post them later) is the ability to search for sites which link to a particular site.  This is cool because searching for the text “little.org” won't necessarily find me all the sites which link to me.  To do a search for your site simply type “link:yourURL” into the Google search.  Any site which links to your URL (you can type just the root, e.g. little.org) will be listed.  Turns out Omar links to me a lot (Hi Omar!).

So... while stroking my own ego, I came across Mark's site.  I'm not quite sure why he links to me but I'll have to ask (I hope it's not someone I know and I'm just being an airhead, how embarrassing).  At any rate... there's a link to my site with the display of “calittleblog” but I wasn't able to find any other reference to my site in Mark's blog entries.  Oh well, another Internet mystery.  I suppose I could just wait for him to find my site...

Hi Mark!

...and Slate is here to help you choose your new Guru.  Don't just skim the article and move on, make sure you scroll down to the bottom and read their “handy guru guide”.

My favorite part: the assertion that if Deepak Chopra wasn't a guru he'd be "Managing a Eurotrash Nightclub."

Steve Stanzak had been sleeping in the basement at NYU for 8 months when school officials discovered his web log describing the experience.  The student apparently had four jobs, a scholarship and was receiving no tuition help from his parents.  The $15K scholarship would lower his tuition to around $16K a year but tack on the $7K to $17K a year for housing and he wasn't able to make ends meet.

This story really proves how well our Universities are preparing our students for the real world.  Steve's major?  Creative writing.  Yep, prepare to work long hours, eat out of dumpsters and live in a cardboard box dude!

Travel John has the answer for the wandering coffee addict, it's the disposable urinal bag.  Rumor has it these handy gel packs are standard equipment in PacBell trucks.

It's a clever idea... but did they have to make the page yellow?

... they'd have protection against mind control as well.

These guys have managed to protect their money from government snooping, but their brains are still exposed.  Will they never learn?

As with many things in my life, I've mixed feelings about this one...

I'm not fond of killing animals... but blowing stuff up is cool!

Here it is... the Rodenator.  Inspired by Caddy Shack, the inventor created a system that pumps propane and oxygen into the homes of burrowing animals... then ignites the mixture with impressive results.

Check out their videos page... then go make a donation to PETA if you feel dirty.

So, you've gotten tired of playing Halo...

You've watched all the Warthog Tossing videos...

Try this to pass the time, a flash warthog launching game.

BOOM... WHEEE!

Thank the maker there are people like MC who are willing to take a bullet for the rest of us.  MC provided an excellent review of the new 7-eleven (an American convenience store) cheeseburger hot dog.  Read for yourself: http://www.michaelconnolly.com/?EntryID=92

MC, you are a braver man than I...

but mmm... it sounds tasty!

From the horses mouth:

Cheeseburger Big Bite™ Hot Dog
Easy to eat perfection! It looks like a hot dog, but it tastes like a cheeseburger! Fresh from the 7-Eleven grill, beef and cheese combine to create the easy-to-eat one-third-pound Cheeseburger Big Bite Hot Dog. Add your favorite condiments or toppings! Yummy!

Update: corrected URL

Here’s a neat mapping exercise: someone has scraped Orkut for name and city data then mapped the results.  Visit and you can put in a latitude and longitude, or a zip code to see all the Orkut users who’ve listed that as their home.  Hmm, can I use this to find how may Orkut members are in prison?

http://www.datawhorehouse.com/orkut/

Been a little overwhelmed at work but I'm digging out.  Let me just say that mail order prescriptions is a really *^&!y idea.  My life has been screwed up for three weeks because of those idiots.

How to blow off some steam?  Penguin baseball.

• http://home.kabelfoon.nl/~hopha/penguin.swf
• http://home.tele2.fr/kcv/pinguin.swf
• http://www.casper.ru/temp/pingu3/?namn=422

Why three links?  I dunno.  You can hit the penguins farther with the last one though, so that must be worth something.  DeEtte got 1200.2!

It's morbid, but is it helpful?  The Clark County Coroner in Nevada has started posting pictures of unidentified dead bodies on its web site.  Sure, it's creepy, but they have solved 3 times the number of cold cases this year.

Would I lose your respect if I told you they work for peanuts?

(How much respect do I loose (sic) for leaning too heavily on my spell checker?  Hey Steve: ;p)

It's amazing what becomes interesting if you're important... I don't think anyone would come to my web site to read a transcript of me trying to order ribs.  President Bush ordering ribs, however, is amusing for some unknown reason.

Thanks Doug for brightening my day.

Ah...er...um... no words come to mind.  Go to Badger Badger Badger to see for yourself.

(Thanks to Dennis, a plus number one fan of Engrish, for the link).

UPDATE!!!

The directors cut is out!

For mere pennies you can construct your very own AFDB - an aluminum foil deflector beanie.  This invaluable piece of head wear will keep out the probing of the nefarious black helicopters (as well as your creepy, voodoo-practicing next-door neighbor).  Full instructions are on the AFDB site.

If your problem is not with terrestrial mind control but comes from a little further away, Steve has pointed me to the Stop Alien Abductions web site.  This site has instructions for creating a stylish helmet to insulate yourself against alien mind control.

You can't take over the world without the right equipment.  Visit VillianSupply.com to order your new lair, weapons or torture devices.  They can even help to outfit your henchmen.

“See, I'm hip.  Dukka, dukka, dukka, dukka.”

Sometimes I wonder if we're getting a little too sensitive.  From the “everyone deserves a friend” page of the touchy-feely handbook: downs syndrome dolls.

At last a soap has finally been created for the modern manly man.  If you want to be sure you aren't labeled as a metro-sexual you need to run right out and buy yourself some No Foo Foo Soap.  With scents like Pipe Tobacco, Leather, Pure Dirt, and Fresh Cut Grass no one will accuse you of being a sissy... but they might question your hygiene.

Okay... here's the story...

I was looking for a small toy, a puzzle-type thing that really has no purpose other than to entertain your fingers (I have several in my office, they're fun).  So I searched for hand toy... I just found “Hand-made wooden toys”.

When I searched for “Hand Amusement” I stuck gold: “Second Hand Amusement Park Rides!”  A new roller coaster is going on my Christmas list. 

• http://www.italintl.com/usdride.htm
• http://www.barbieri-rides.com/view/3.htm

The truly amazing thing, however, is my searches didn't net me any accidental porn sites.

Sure, it doesn't sound quite like bubble wrap, but it's still satisfying.  http://www.social-stuff.com/bubblewrap.swf

6/27/06
check of link reveals 404, virtual bubble wrap is no longer.

Sure, perhaps the Yo-Yo hasn't been cool since the '50s but there are still some people into it... and some have mad skilz (see, use the right lingo and it's cool again).  For some dope Yo-Yo action check out this video: http://www.hugi.is/hahradi/bigboxes.php?box_id=51208&f_id=901.  The video isn't short, but sit still for a little and you'll see some pretty fancy handwork.

The video was filmed at the Japanese National Yo-Yo competition 2003.  If you want more Yo-Yo info, here's a good launch site.

The world continues to get wierder.  Evidence:  The K9 Water Company.

The K9 water company sells bottled water for your dog, marketed the way the dog would like it.  K9 water is exactly what you know your dog likes to drink, the four varieties: Gutter Water, Toilet Water, Puddle Water and Hose Water.  No, they don't actually take toilet water a bottle it, they take regular water and flavor it like beef, chicken, liver and lamb. 

Toilet water tastes like chicken?  That explains a lot.

Go get your pooch a 12 pack at http://www.k9waterco.com/

Okay, now for some seriously geeky stuff... a video of someone beating Mario 3... in 11 minutes!

Steve gets extra credit for doing something I've always been curious about doing... he knowingly participated in a web scam. Read about it here:Steve Davis...too much time on his hands....

Oh, and remember, blogs have their newest posts on top, so scroll down to the bottom to get the start of the story.

Did you ever want to have a South Park character of your very own? Well try the South Park Studios Create a Character. See if you can make one that looks just like you.

Do you wash your hands after handling money because you don't know where it's been? Well stop washing, you can find out where it's been, check out Where's George?

Hot laptop burns scientist's penis.

One question: what was he wearing?

WAKE UP! The world is in deep trouble. Read all about it here: Dihydrogen Monoxide Research Division (DMRD).

Don't let this silent killer go unnoticed.:D

Tired of telemarketers? Fight back! Check out the EGBG Counter-script, a dialog designed to give you the upper hand in those annoying, dinner-time phone conversations.